Charles is back home

When one particular person's laughter at your jokes gives you special pleasure you know that you are in love.

Charles is back at home after an almost continuous two-month absence. This weblog will likely return to its normal slumberous pace.

Needless to say I'm happy to have him home. Happy because I missed him and you get habituated having somebody around the house you can kiss and hug. Less sloppily with him back I can think more clearly when I wonder if the experiment of our life together will be a success or something to be abandoned.

The prospect of failure is terrifying. I'd be alone again. The hurt I'd inflict on Charles is incalculable. Charles isn't strong in mind or body. I knew this when I pursued him. I'm one of those fools who likes to 'take care of.' It didn't occur to me that my caring might not be enough.

I want everything to work out for his sake as much as mine. Not often you can say that without a trace of hypocrisy.