I live in fear of my inner ear

For a short time not long after I moved to Atlanta I had one of the easiest, best-paying jobs of my life. I called loan officers at banks, described a hypothetical loan and ask how much above the prime rate they probably charge for the loan. In 1972 I got $120 for calling twenty-five banks. My employers were shocked: my predecessors had spent two days making the calls. Why? Maybe the earlier guys spent too much time drinking coffee and talking to their girlfriends. Maybe they were skittish about talking to corporate loan officers. I didn’t even know what the prime lending rate but I could be plausible and ingratiating on the phone.

The job didn’t last long. I was in a rare hardworking phase and sandwiched it in-between morning and evening sessions of regular market research interviewing. I’d gone from asking people if they had Prince Albert trapped in a can to eliciting their feelings about crotch sprays.

One day at the office I got dizzy and everything turned green. At home I got dizzy and fainted. My head missed a cinderblock by an inch. As if I were on a soap opera I panicked and thought “Oh God! I have a brain tumor!” Scared, I did what any naïve young fool who’d just left home would do and called my parents.

Back in Savannah one of daddy’s doctors saw me. Having entered a period of extreme hypochondria he had two or three. The doctor said I had a very minor, low-level inner-ear infection. On moving to Atlanta I had terrible sinus congestion. Something in Atlanta – aside from John - was inimical to my health.

I tried the OTC sinus medications of the time. They just made the mucous harden: the cure hurt more than the ailment. A freakish proto-New Age health food dealer (who deserves to be written about one day) suggested I try niacin (vitamin B3). Niacin produces peripheral vasodilation; it makes you flush and tingle, sometimes itch. Many people tolerate the sensation. I habituated to the minor irritations easily enough. Niacin flushes out histamine, which was all I needed.

The inner-ear infection continued to bedevil me. It took me years to discern that. Every few years I’d get sick: feverish, dizzy, weak. I’d climb into bed, pull on lots of blankets and after a night of sweaty delirium I’d wake up feeling fine.

I didn’t think much of it. Everybody gets a ‘bug’ every now and then. And I was never sick otherwise (not counting hepatitis and I know which boy gifted that to me). Several years ago I finally caught the pattern. My bursts of sickness follow a night when I left a window open, sat in front of a fan, or otherwise let my head get cold. Probably I’d washed my hair that evening.

Last Thursday evening I took a shower and sat down in the living room. Friday afternoon I felt the ear itch that presages an attack. By 8:00 p.m. I was feeling weak. The Stargate SG-1 season premiere was too demanding, about 9:30 p.m. I fell asleep.

The next morning I felt as weak and sick as I did the morning of my first bad hangover. This morning is the first time I’ve been able to get up and move about for more than twenty minutes without feeling exhausted.

Since we moved to this house I’ve been enfeebled this way three times. Much above my earlier once every few year average. Finally I think I’ve unraveled the cause. Our central air system was installed just before we bought the house. The air coming out of the vents is much colder than any other I’ve been around. That seemed like a good thing when the engineer who inspected our house noted it. The house is very small; it is hard to be far from a vent. Might explain why my recovery takes longer (might be something else, about that another day).

Now I think I need a nap.